Now that you are getting a divorce, you have to figure out how you're
going to tell people. Once you start telling others, you're walking
into a minefield for both personal and legal reasons. Thus, it's important
that you know what to say and what NOT to say while your divorce is pending.
In reality, what you say outside of court can impact what happens in it,
so our Nassau County divorce attorneys are going to give you advice on
how to announce your divorce with grace.
Prepare yourself beforehand.
You don't want to announce your divorce on the fly; it's better
to have mentally rehearsed what you're going to say and to whom. Don't
be too proud to write down your response to reactions, such as "He
cheated didn't he?" or "But, you have kids!"
Decide who you're going to tell and in what order.
Don't tell others that you filed for divorce before your spouse, and
don't let your kids find out from your neighbor's kids. First
tell the people who will be affected the most, starting with your spouse
and then your kids.
Before you talk to people other than your spouse and children, decide exactly
what you're going to tell them. Be calm and positive, and save the
rants for your divorce attorney or therapist.
Plan what to say before you tell.
You had an affair? Your husband ran off with his secretary? Your wife has
a drinking and spending problem? It's best to spare the details; it's
counterproductive to air your dirty laundry.
Before you tell people, decide what to tell them and your reasons for splitting
but say it in a way that doesn't make you and your spouse look bad.
It's entirely OK to say that you two are very different people or
want different things in life.
Be prepared for curiosity.
No matter how bad your marriage ended or why, it's important to maintain
positive on the outside. You're going to get some curious people who
will grill you for all the dirty details, but remember, word spreads fast
in social circles, whether it's the country club, your work, or the PTA.
Know your message, memorize it and don't let your defenses down. Years
from now, you'll be proud of yourself for not revealing the problems
in your marriage during one of the most vulnerable times in your life.
In closing, take the high road with social media, especially Facebook.
Anything that you post on social media and write in an email, text, or
Facebook message can be used against you in court. Essentially, if you
don't want the judge to read it, don't put it in writing.
For more divorce tips, contact Jason M. Barbara & Associates, P.C.!